Is My Child’s Behaviour Appropriate?

So you have a toddler. Or maybe a preschooler. You watch your child throw tantrums, leap off furniture, or act aggressively. Some days, things seem fine—and on other days, you find yourself wondering: Is this behaviour normal?

Guess what?

It is.

Believe it or not, a short attention span, temper tantrums, rough-and-tumble play, and high energy levels are all developmentally appropriate for young children. Let’s take a closer look at these common behaviours—and when it might be time to seek support.

Short Attention Span

A short attention span is expected in early childhood. On average, attention spans grow gradually with age and vary depending on interest, setting, and familiarity with the activity.

• • Age 3: Can focus for 3–8 minutes if the activity is interesting.
  • Age 4: Can engage for 7–15 minutes with something new and engaging. In small groups, attention spans may be 5–10 minutes.
  • Age 5: Can focus on an activity of choice for about 15 minutes. For adult-led activities, attention may last 4–6 minutes.

High Energy

Kids are meant to move!

A high energy level doesn’t necessarily mean a child has ADHD. Movement is critical for healthy brain, sensory, and motor development.

General daily movement needs by age:

• • Babies (1–12 months): Movement throughout the day
  • Toddlers (1–3 years): At least 5–8 hours of active play
  • Preschoolers (3–5 years): At least 5–8 hours
  • School-age (6–13 years): At least 4–5 hours
  • Adolescents (13–19 years): At least 3–4 hours

Aggression

Aggressive behaviours like hitting or biting in young children are common and often linked to limited communication skills. These behaviours usually happen when a child feels:

• • Frustrated
  • Angry
  • Overwhelmed
  • Scared

Sometimes, children may even hit or bite out of affection or to test boundaries. As communication skills develop, these behaviours typically decrease.

“My child has some really challenging behaviours. I thought I was doing everything right—we have a routine, a healthy diet, and good sleep habits. So why are we still struggling?”

Challenging behaviours don’t necessarily mean you’re doing something wrong. They often occur because a child is:

• • Missing a specific skill
  • Struggling to express a need or want
  • Being denied something they desire
  • Tired
  • Hungry
  • Experiencing changes in routine

How Can I Manage Challenging Behaviour?

Here are three helpful strategies:

1. 1. Be consistent. Predictability helps kids feel safe.
   2. Name what you see. Build emotional vocabulary (e.g., “You’re feeling frustrated because you wanted more time with the toy.”)
   3. Use natural consequences. The consequence should relate directly to the action.

When Should I Be Concerned?

While many behaviours are typical, there are some signs that may indicate a child needs extra support. Consider speaking with a professional if you notice:

No interest in interacting with others
Lack of pretend play
Difficulty managing emotions
Does not respond to others outside the family
Self-injury (e.g., head banging)
High sensitivity to sounds, textures, or light
Very limited food preferences
Persistent sleep difficulties

If you’re unsure, trust your instincts—early support can make a big difference, and professionals can help you better understand your child’s needs.